This Haiti earthquake has affected me in a very deep way. For one thing, I was always "scared" of that country as from all I've ever seen, it looks like hell on earth. I think this fear started when I saw a horror movie in high school that took place in Haiti and it was about zombies and voodoo and all that garbage and it scared me so bad that I left the theater before the film was over (I think it was called "Serpent and the Rainbow") and still to this day I hate horror films and take no thrill in being scared.
So I find myself tossing in the bed feeling helpless and overall pretty worthless for not being able to do "more" than just a donation. I'm obsessed with every news report--please oh please get the aid there and quick. I cry when someone is still looking for a loved one and praying that their loved one wasn't dumped in some mass unmarked grave like what I saw on CNN that had my mouth agape. And I'm in awe at these doctors that have come from all over the globe to help, countless missionaries who stayed behind to look after orphans, and I feel like my job in "advertising" is meaningless in the big scheme of things. Advertising. Makes me want to rethink my whole career path.
I am reminded of when I applied for military service out of college and was denied. Those recruiters knew that I didn't have that thing that makes for a soldier. So although in my heart I wish I had that thing, the reality is, I am too squeamish, too girly, too scaredy cat and paranoid...they saw through me I'm sure. So I came to realize that there are people who do and praise God for them and those that support the doers behind the scenes and I'm in that latter cateogry, and I just need to feel "okay" about that. Compassion comes in all forms.
a resolution
21 hours ago
I grew up in a third world country and have seen poverty first hand. Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere and when I visited it as I child I was heartbroken at the poverty-I never thought I would ever see people so poor. I truly beleive all of our donations behind the scenes help so thank you for doing that. I looked for every way I could to donate. Collecting gently used sneakers and taking them to Sport Chalet to send to Haiti, donating some of my air miles to help offset the cost of air travel for the many volunteers and of course money to the priests going to help. Whatever we do in our small way helps because if everyone does it then it becomes a force and we can make a change.
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