Zoo Observations

We are fortunate to have a great zoo in Memphis and I go frequently. I report to you now some observations of late.

1) 85% of moms are fat. yes, I'm one of them so this is not casting stones. And every time I'm around a bunch of moms, I have the resolve to lose weight. True, it only lasts about 6 hours. This is one majority I just don't want to be in. So men out there, if you are not proposing for fear "she'll get fat like her mom" listen up, the truth is, she is very likely to. So don't propose unless you have a lot more love going than just the physical. Don't know why this is exactly...but it appears to in fact be a majority. Now, about that diet.
2) Our zoo attracts rednecks and trailer trash from about 10 counties. I admit that I have a real prejudice against red necks and trailer trash. You might be a redneck/trailer trash if:
a) you dress your baby in nothing but a diaper and go to the zoo. No onesie, no socks, no shirt, no hat, just a diaper. And what about that sunscreen? I wouldn't bank on it.
b) you are giant in girth and do not dress appropriately. I may be a big girl but it's covered up. I just have more sense than to have a belly hanging out, along with arms, breasts, etc. These people look upsurd.
c) you wear a bandanna on your head, have a lip ring and slap your already screaming baby. Spanking a baby is stupid and you look like a Monster Mom when you do it and that just causes more screaming baby, but I guess I shouldn't expect super mom out of a bandanna wearing lip ring biker chick looking person (sorry, just how I feel).

3) I'm not one to diss some one's attire. But someone's mee-maw was wearing a flower in her hair on a headband (like one of those kinds put on babies but BIG Neicy Nash style), an 80's sundress, a slip showing about six inches from the hem at least(didn't realize people wore these anymore), white knee socks (and I do mean to the knee) and white tennis shoes. The husband, who never-ever says an unkind word to anyone had to laugh with me at this sight.

4) But wait there's more! True story. Saw a mom with baby in that pouch kangaroo thing on her chest; balance an ice cream cone, popcorn bag in her left hand, push stroller with her right, have ear to shoulder on a cell phone and three things of BBQ nachos in the actual stroller. Super mom. It was all I could do back in the day to leave a house with a baby and diaper bag. Again, the husband and I laughed. It was like those circus people that balance a bunch of plates on a baton. Geez!

I'm taking a break from the zoo for a while. My redneck/trailer trash quota is more than met for the month.