David's Bridal Debacle

I have a big party coming up in April, in which, I'm the star of the show. So in preparation for the event, I'm in need of a party dress and figured David's might be a place I should go in search of one suitable for this big occasion given I was told they carry plus sizes. I had never been to a David's, so it was all new to me.

As someone who's made a career out of marketing and "knowing our customers" I can't decide if David's is just clueless about appropriate women's fashions OR if I'm just clearly not their target demo OR a little of both. Where to begin with my laughable experience?

1) I was astounded on how busy the store was but I can't say I understood the clientele. Who takes their mama, daddy, fiance, three sisters and all their nieces and nephews to buy their wedding gown? Bringing an entourage for such a momentous occasion struck me as odd. Where is the surprise element then when the bride walks down the aisle if everyone has already seen and weighed in on the dress?
2) I'm not sure men should even be allowed into David's Bridal, at least not in the fitting area. More on that later.
3) I was struck at how little effort these brides put into their appearance to try on their dream gown for their big day. Seems like one would at least do their hair and makeup to get a feel for the occasion, but alas, just wait, this was the proverbial kettle calling the pot black. More on this in a minute...
4) I can't stand any store that doesn't have mirrors "in" the dressing rooms. It's the same reason I don't shop at Chico's. Sometimes, I just want to see a silhouette and if it's ghastly, I can discreetly correct the situation by pulling said offensive garment off. Why subject myself to public humiliation in a public mirror? I don't want to parade myself out in front of the whole world "just to see," which is why I didn't appreciate men being there when a dress doesn't even zip up the back. Now, if I were shopping for a wedding gown, I would expect an attendant there to help me zip up and the parading may be okay, but again, not in front of a bunch of strangers and men at that.
5) The lighting was so awful that I was aghast at my own appearance! My face looked like a clown. So bad that my next stop was Ulta for all new cosmetics after shopping at David's as my makeup was so ghastly and bright in that horrific lighting. Point being, the women there probably didn't look any worse then I did so shame on me for judging. How can any bridal salon have hospital light? It was ridiculous. Might I suggest, church light? As that would certainly "sell" more dresses I would think.
6) We are in Shelby County, not Orange County. 90% of the party dresses were strapless and skimpy. However, I bet only 20% of the Memphis population can actually wear a strapless dress well. And a woman of a certain size, has absolutely no business wearing a strapless dress or a super short one. Oh, then there's that church thing again. Who wants to look like they are clubbing when they are an attendant at a church wedding? Furthermore, if the David's buyers parked themselves in any Memphis mall for an hour, they would clearly ascertain that our demographic should not be wearing strapless, short gowns. One of the dresses I tried on was too short on me, and I'm 5' 2", and I noticed that it went up to a size 26. Are you kidding me?
7) Fat women cannot do shiny. It's a giant mistake photo wise. Saw lots and lots of "satin" in David's. So yay that you have it in a size 20, but if it's shiny, it's a fashion Don't.
8) Most bridal parties have a range of women in different sizes & ages. I've seen large women trying to pack themselves into the same backless, sleeveless gown their size 6 counterpart is wearing and I think the bride should know better and be more respectful of her bridal party and their comfort level. I suggest a "Destiny's Child" dressing model, where all the dresses are different to be flattering, but match enough to be in the party if you know what I mean. Seems like David's has a model where they make the same exact dress in a size 2 to size 26 and that is just not right. Help the women who don't know better by giving size appropriate choices in similar colors and fabrics. I'd bet you'd sell more.

So what did I learn from all this?
a) I can't wait until the strapless trend is over.
b) I am too old and too fat to deal with David's given strapless & shiny are not options for me, and no, a shrug is not the answer. The experience did kick-start a new diet. As in one white dress I looked like an albino orca whale.
c) I got new make-up out of the deal, and I think I look much better.

Oh and as far as the bridal dresses go, I did see some very pretty ones. I just think they could do so much better if they enhanced their shopping experience model with flattering light and a little more dressing room privacy. Unless the bride with her 10 relatives in tow is what they are trying to attract.

Girl Crushes

I have two girl crushes--one on Christina Hendricks of Mad Men fame and one on Nigella Lawson of Food TV fame. Now, I'm not doubting my orientation or anything like that but I sure would love to go have lunch with them, or raid their closet (or kitchen) or borrow their make-up artist & stylist for a day. Tim Gunn (let's say in unison--Love him!) is welcome to shot-gun on the same lunch too. This may be too lofty for a bucket list item, but gosh I wish it could happen.

The Christina Hendricks crush is more about her on-TV persona, on Mad Men she lights up a screen. She is positively luminous. And I love the clothes associated with the character, her personality, etc. Kind of makes me wish for a second that we could go back to once-a-week hairdo's and garter belts. Okay, maybe not that last thing.

I wonder what a person has to do to be "luminous?" I have a good friend that has that quality. I think it's a combination of good skin and shocking hair color and maybe a little mystery about them. She was a stand-in for Marlo Thomas on a photo shoot. Marlo travels around with her own lighting person and my friend was asked to stand-in for her. The man used to do the lighting for Marilyn Monroe. He told my friend that she "radiated light just like Marilyn." Wow! That's the kind of compliment you never forget. I mean, does any other compliment matter after that one? From a man who actually knew Marilyn Monroe personally?

Nigella I had the pleasure of meeting in person once at a book signing and I was a little star-struck. I like her beyond just her va-va-voom body and British accent as we all know I have a weakness for the British men (Daniel Craig, Hugh Grant and Gerard Butler are all in my life boat, but I digress.) She's so funny and completely okay with her love of food. She was so charming in real life and her light radiates not only on the outside but inside as well. If she seems down-to-earth on her show, surely she must be, as in person she took the time out to talk to all of us in line beyond the obligatory signature.

So where is all this going? No conclusion really, I was just reading about Elizabeth Taylor and her illness and given she's one of the great luminous beauties of a past time I got to thinking about the other beauties in our current time. Oh and I do wish I traveled around with my own lighting guy. And, about that lunch...P.S. Get well Elizabeth.