I'll Go Approve My Head Shot Now

I get up today and decide it's a day to look more smashing than normal so I select my smartest black wrap dress, faux fishnet leggings and patent leather shoes. It's a good hair day and make up day and I'm feeling sassy and chic or at least as sassy and chic as I can possibly get. It's a Moxy* 10 day.

So a co-worker asks me and another female colleague to interview his daughter who is a senior in high school to help prep her for he college interviews forthcoming.

This young woman is smart, articulate, charming, lovely, and the list goes on. She has strawberry blonde hair--like a princess. She talks at length about her debate club and her variety of topics, her goals for college entrance, her goals for graduate school, her dream to work in genetics and try and cure diseases while babies are still in utero. At one point, I think I slobbered on myself so absorbed in the conversation. She goes on to discuss how she shuns alcohol and drugs because she is solely focused on her studies right now. She is 17 years old.

Me: "Are you shopping for your prom dress yet?"

Yeah, that's about the smartest question I could come up with in her glory.

So me and my colleague leave this little chit-chat afterward and it goes something like this.

Me: "Well, not sure where I went wrong in life as I didn't have a clue about my future and still don't most days. Clearly, I need to work on my parenting skills if I'm ever going to have a kid like that."

Colleague: "Yeah, guess I'll go do some PR now."

Me: "I think the next thing on my list today is to approve my head shot. Does the photgrapher photo shop?"

Colleague: "Yep, any way you want."

My moxy now? About a three.

*Author's Note: I wasn't sure I was spelling Moxy right, so I looked it up on Dictionary.com (not there) so then I went to urbandictionary.com and here is a cut/paste which made me roar with laughter.

A word that would be better suited to being on the 'oldtimey-dictionary.com' website. If you are told that you have moxy it means one of three things:
1.) What the Hollywood world today calls 'it.'
2.) You have an great amount of courage or bravery to do what you want do to.
3.) You have Herpes (which was originally called Moxygoshthisitchesherpes but was shortened to just Herpes in the mid-60's)

Examples:

1.) You, my good boy, have moxy and with your dancing monkies you will soon be the toast of Vaudville!!
2.) Barnabus must have a great deal of moxy to just whip it out in front of his girlfriends parents like that.
3.) Sheryl is disgusting...I think she gave me moxy.

Maybe now, I need a bumper sticker

I have often said that there is no cause or moral issue in the world that I can get so fired up about that I feel the need to have a bumper sticker expressing my point of view on my car about. In fact, I've never understood others who felt compelled to advertise their vehement belief system on their car. That has changed with the Penn State scandal and riot. For once, I'm about as fired up as a citizen can possibly be about a cause, a belief, and a moral point of view.

I have zero and I mean zero to infinity patience for any person in authority there who turned a blind eye to that monster Sandusky and let it go on for YEARS. So you told your boss. That's fine and good, but you worked side by side with that perv for YEARS. There will be dozens of more victims by the time this is all hashed out. I promise you that with Sandusky's "causes" and foster parenting. Yuck.

For all the rioters, you are naive. Go have a kid, and see if you feel the same way in defending these people. Parenthood will change your belief system in many ways.

Don't Go Through Life Being a Lima Bean

I have an irrational fear of sharks. As in, I won't go in the ocean unless I'm in a vessel that says something like "Carnival" down the side. I just think being eaten alive and/or being sucked down under water would be the worst way to go.

Years ago, I was watching a documentary on great whites and somehow, some fool discovered that if you touch the nose of a shark, it's eyes roll back in it's head and it falls backward catatonic like in a haze for a short period of time--presumbly so you can maybe get away. (or long enough for it to get really good and mad at you when it recovers.) While they were demonstrating this, a few people got their hands cut on the razor sharp teeth of the sharks trying to demonstrate this technique and I watched all this with morbid fascination. Cuts = blood = sharks = eyes and teeth = scary.

As I was discussing this with a friend the other day and I looked on You Tube for the documentary and in doing so came across a National Geographic special. In short, it said that sharks don't like to eat humans...to them, we're like lima beans. Only to be eaten when there is absolutely nothing else. They much prefer seals who are like hot fudge brownie sundaes. Wh0 wants a lima bean when you can have a sundae. Agree! As a lima bean has to be the most un-endearing bean, if not food, there is. Nat Geo gets props for the most excellent analogy.

I have known people that I'd classify as lima beans in life. In other words, I only deal with them when I absolutely have to and suffer through it thinking, why must I endure this person?

The moral of this story is then, don't go through life being a lima bean. How's that for a catch phrase?